I think the act of self deprecating is natural. It’s unfortunate, but it seems to be the way that we relate ourselves to others. How many times do you find yourself being complimented only to deny said compliment. I do it all. the. time. It’s like we don’t want to be seen higher up than those around us so we lower ourselves during conversation to be on the same level. The thing I’m worried about, though, is the sick cycle that begins once we start putting ourselves down.
A month or so ago I made a mental note to recognize whenever I was belittling myself or my potential in order to serve someone else. As you can imagine, I did it quite often. But what I didn’t realize was how often other people did it too. You know what I also realized? Once someone pointed out their weakness to me, it was something I automatically associated them with. Not in a judgement type of way…just as something my brain categorized them with.
Let me tell you something: if you continuously point out your weaknesses to others, then that’s going to be the only thing they see when they look at you.
There’s a sort of comfort in being the first one to lay it all out there. To go ahead and put all your insecurities on the table so no one else can pull them out themselves. But by putting them on the table you’re allowing other people to play with them. To use them against you. To seal them to your identity. You’re allowing the world to see those insecurities instead of your strengths. If you don’t put your strength out there to be seen – how will people know its there?
Let me tell you something else: you are not defined by your weaknesses. Why? Because they can be turned into strengths. YOU have that ability. They can and WILL change.
Something that’s really been helping me is learning to just say “thank you” when someone compliments me. If someone is going out of their way to point out something they admire about you, LET THEM. You are wonderful, and you serve a purpose, and other people see that. Let them see that.
And as far as your self talk goes, I think it’s important to be your own best friend. You can’t count on other people to uplift you because unfortunately that’s not always going to happen. So I challenge you to mentally correct yourself whenever you catch self deprecating thoughts going through your head. You’ll be amazed at the difference in your self esteem!
Happy New Years, guys! Let’s make 2015 a great one